Tennessee state of mind

I don't do change well. I get into grooves and I like to stick with them. For example, I drive exactly the same route to work everyday and home again. I've had the same job for years despite being qualified to do other things. I wish someone would hire me away from there. I keep thinking that if, and when, we move away things will be different. I do not plan to move many hours away from here and still work at Domino's after all!

It is nice to know I have that to fall back on.:) Yay for job skills, I guess.

I was looking at pictures last night of places I've lived at different points in my life. Of things I've lost. Of things I still have. Getting all melancholy. It's amazing how different my life has become over the years. This town has not changed much though. Murfreesboro is still pretty much the same. Yes, it is bigger and has more people and all that stuff, but it has the same feel to it. Tennessee is the same as it has ever been. It made me realize that no matter where we go, Tennessee will always be the same. It is a state of mind thing I guess.

One of my friends wrote a song that says it best for me. I am not typing in the whole thing though. Here's some excerpts:

"Smoky Mountains stretchin' forth/But they don't look the same to me
That old highway reaching forth/Goes a little too far for me....
From the Mississippi up to Cherokee/It'll always be our home...

Well it's hard out on our own/We don't know which way to go,
But she tells me it's all right/There's some things you don't need to know anyway,
But I can hear the river call to me/I hear the catfish jump in my head,
The closest that I get to Tennessee/is when I'm lying with her in bed.

So I hold her tight, like a Kudzu vine
Climbing higher up the tree,
This morning, I woke up in New Hampshire,
Fell asleep in Tennessee"
("Fell Asleep in Tennessee"--Mike LaBo)

The whole song is amazing. Actually, all of his music is incredibly touching to me. If you want to hear it, click here to go to his MySpace music page because I could not figure out how to embed music in a post. :)

Wasting Time

Instead of trolling Craigslist for jobs, I am looking around for video of my latest obsession--Coyote Shivers. Okay, mostly the song "Sugar High." I listen to this song probably 10+ times a day.

You can find it here at Youtube or part of it here at Lastfm. The whole song is on the YouTube video. This is my go to good mood song. Well, this and Self's "So Low" and Bright Eyes "At the Bottom of Everything."

None of the above is classic feelgood music I guess. It just shows my current got-no-sleep/wanna crawl back in bed mood. Plus Coyote Shivers is kinda cute, although by all accounts, he's a jerk (and that's putting it nicely).


(Okay I think he's cute.)

There's way too many links in this post. Sorry about that. Just sharing music that interests me!

My life in song

It's amazing how quickly a memory of a time in my life or a person can come rushing back on hearing a certain song. For instance, the Sex Pistols "Anarchy in the U.K." epitomizes my senior year of high school and freshman year of college. So does the Violent Femmes "Add it Up."

Then there's "Sugar Magnolia" by the Grateful Dead. I desperately wanted to be someone's Sugar Magnolia, that woman who could do anything and do it well and be gazed at adoringly by her lover.

Summer of 1995--the Dead again--this time "Not Fade Away" and the promise that "Our love will not fade away." Yeah, a guy said that. I was 22 and I fell for it.

Later that same summer, there was Janis Joplin's "Me and Bobby McGee," which my best friend and I listened and sang to at the top of our lungs while we drove around town.

Then I moved out and I was all about the Doors and Ani DiFranco. I felt that the lines of "Untouchable Face" which say,

"I see you and I'm so perplexed
What was I thinking?
What will I think of next?
Where can I hide?"

could have been written by me. They weren't, but they echoed in my head a lot, usually after a bad relationship. I still love that song actually. Along with "Out of Habit" and the lines: "My thighs have been involved in many accidents" and "My c*%t is built like a wound that won't heal," which I still sing at the top of my lungs when I listen to it.

Moving on, my ideas about love really have come from songs. Who doesn't listen to a particularly romantic line and think, "Oh, wow"? There was definitely a point in my life when I thought that marriage would be like "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls.

"And I'd give up forever to touch you,
Cause I know that you feel me somehow.
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,
And I don't want to go home right now.

And all I can taste is this moment,
And all I can breathe is your life,
And sooner or later it's over,
I just don't want to miss you tonight."

I think my marriage was like that maybe for the first year. I kind of miss that.

I am such a geek

I am so thrilled though that my 3 year old just sang part of the intro to Bright Eyes "At the Bottom of Everything"

"Where are we going?

We're going to a party

It's a birthday party

It's your birthday darling

We love you very, very, very, very much!!!!"

He even sang it with all the very's. You can't see it, but I am dancing around with glee!!