Saturday, December 20, 2008

Does It All Equal Out?

Just read a post over at Girl's Gone Child , "Pictures of the Gone World" and it reminded me of several things that have been on my mind lately. The post that is linked to in it over at Dad Gone Mad made me think even more.

I met my husband at work, in a world totally removed from who he was socially or, in some respects, as a person, at least to the extent that a uniform erases personalities. I got to know him while we dated and he was a great person for me to date. A great person for the grad school student that I was to hang out with. I always worked from 4:00 p.m. until around 10:00 p.m. so my schedule pretty much consisted of getting up around noon and going to bed around 2 a.m. That meshed well with who he was and is--a person who pretty much always stays up until at least 4 a.m. and would sleep until 2 if left alone.

From the beginning, there were obvious differences. His friends went to lots of music shows and festivals, drank, and stayed out until the sun came up on a regular basis. Mine hung out in coffeehouses, reading Proust, and discussing Postmodernism. A lot of his friends were intellectuals who just happened to enjoy live music. Where am I going with this?

4 years later, his friends are exactly the same. Some have full-time jobs. Some simply work enough to earn the money to go out. My friends are all working at some sort of full-time job. One is working in the music industry in Nashville; many are teachers in various locations around the country. None of those routinely stay out all night. Few of them have children.

When we had our son, I was the one who gave up staying out all night. I was never much of a partier anyway. I don't drink or smoke so I always sat back and observed. 4 years later, my husband still stays up until 4 a.m. even when he has to get up early the next day to be responsible and watch our child. He still goes to shows and comes home as the sun is coming up. At 29, he reminds me of myself at 19. I wonder when it all equals out or if it ever does?


bejewell said...

I don't know if it ever changes, but I can tell you that my husband and I are polar opposites in every way, and while the frustration levels do seem to grow over time (especially with a kid), the love has never diminished.

Of course, my husband is the early bird, and I'm the night owl, so...

susan said...

I could easily be a night owl, too, but someone has to get up with the child.:)

I adore him..he just frustrates me so much sometimes. The weird thing is that he's way more responsible with money than I am. It's just the where I am always rushed, he never is. He is 15 minutes late everywhere. It drives me mad!