Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas

We've been busy around here all month trying to get ready for the holidays. Quincy found the time to do this:

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Currently, There are No Jobs.

That's what the Subfinder system says. It's the thing I go through to get sub jobs so I can have money to pay my student loan payment. More often than not, I hear that sentence above.

As a sub, I am required to work 5 days a month to remain active and able to sign up for jobs. My goal is to work 10 days. That's only 2.5 days a week and you would think it'd be easy to do, but no. Last month, I worked 5.5 days and that was hard to do. I had to go to a school I never go to because it's the most urban of the schools around here. They have lockdowns there regularly due to gang activity and fights. Nothing happened when I was there, but still, it was a stressful day.

Speaking of stress, I am constantly worried about making my student loan payments. I never know if there will be sub jobs from one day to the next. My student loan payments each month are figured based on a loan consolidation that I did a while back. My husband has discovered a new way to consolidate through my loan provider so I am filling out the paperwork for that if I do stay home tomorrow. It's based on income and I would basically be paying $200 a month. That equals out to about 4 days of subbing a month and much less worry.

One problem with subbing is that I already work 35-40 hours at my full-time job so, even though I know I need to work about 3 days a week, I don't want to. I just got home from work about 9 p.m. tonight and that's about average. About once a week, I work later one night. That makes me really not want to get up at 6 a.m. to go to a school.

This is also the last year that Quincy will be home during the day. Next year, he'll be at Kindergarten. *sigh* My baby! in school! every day! I have set a goal to find a job during school hours only by the time he starts next August. Considering how many times I have sent out my resume recently, I am hoping that is doable. There seem to be a lot of jobs around here, but there are also tons of applicants for every position. I try to apply for the ones that say minimal applicants.

Well, it's time to go check Subfinder again.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Biting My Nails

I am pretty much shaking with anxiety tonight. Two things are making me that way.

One--Quincy threw-up late last night, but has been fine since. It was pretty traumatic for me to get woken up out of a deep sleep by the mess I had to clean up. I'm sure it was hard on him, too. He stayed up for 2 hours, watched TV, and then went right back to sleep. Too good to be true, right? I thought so, too. Then, he played all day and was full of energy. Now, he's asleep. He fell asleep around 8:15, just like last night. I'm hoping we don't have a repeat.

Two--I am subbing tomorrow. Normally, that wouldn't make me nervous. Sometimes I am little apprehensive if it's a subject I've never subbed for before, but that's about the only time I get like that. I was a little worried about Friday when I subbed for a Driver's Ed teacher. Turned out, I had no reason to worry. It was a fun day. Tomorrow, though, I am subbing for a Boy's Wellness teacher. Now, that just means gym, but still, I have no idea what I'll be doing, but I bet I won't be showing a movie all day. I'm not even sure I'll be in a class room!

I'm going to try to relax because I have to get up really early tomorrow. I'll probably post about how the day went later this week.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Plain and Simple Neglect

The last few weeks flew by. First, there was Fall Break, when I planned on getting lots of stuff done, but did nothing. Then, there was last week, which was a repeat of Fall Break. So far, I've managed to get the grocery shopping done this week, but that's about all. In my defense, I came down with some mystery illness last Friday morning and still don't feel totally like myself.

Anyway, that's why I haven't written anything. Well, that, and I spend too much time on Facebook.

I am going through some kind of what-if phase. Like what if I'd done this instead of that when I was 25 and so on. It is pointless, because I always arrive at the conclusion that, yes, life would be different, but I wouldn't have Quincy. I might have other children, but none would be him.

Then, there's the what if something happened and it was just me and Quincy tomorrow. Would I be able to support us with my current jobs? (No. We would have to move.) Where? Who would keep him while I worked? I get all tense thinking that way. I should stop.

Maybe this is some sort of midlife crisis kind of thing or maybe it's just my own neurosis coming through. I don't know.

I do know that a topic of argument around here has been how much my husband has to work to pay bills and how much he hates that. If I made more money, I wouldn't have to listen to it every month. That's probably a huge source of these scenarios that my mind creates.

I spent far too much time daydreaming about change and far too little making any.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Tidbits

I don't have any really unified thoughts that would make a good long post so this will be a bulleted one.

  • These last few weeks have been fairly uneventful as far as subbing goes. I've subbed for the same teacher several times so his kids are used to me and I know their names. Nothing really exciting there.
  • Tuesday night, there was a job at the high school that is closest to my house so I signed up for it as soon as I saw it. I must not have looked too closely because I went there Wednesday morning thinking it was just a job for that day. When I got there, there was a note on the desk thanking me for subbing for the next three days! I called home and had my husband check and, yes, it was for three days. Ooops. I am still tired from that.
  • Speaking of my husband, we are stuck in the discussion about whether to try for another baby. I finally decided that I'd like to, but he thinks that another baby would "ruin his life." So if I were to get pregnant, he would hate me. It's a circular fight and one that I hope we resolve soon.
  • Quincy went on his first trip out of town with my husband but without me this weekend. He went to Oak Ridge, TN to visit his grandmother and great-grandparents. I think he had a good time. When he was ready to come home on Saturday afternoon, he went out and got in the car without saying bye. He must have thought that it was time to go.
  • While he was in Oak Ridge, he got up very early, like 6 a.m. early. This morning, he woke up around 6:45. I am hoping this doesn't happen again tomorrow.
  • I am currently obsessed with The Gourds. I have listened to their version of "Gin and Juice" at least three times today. It's a bluegrass version done with some mandolin. I love it!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

In Memoriam

I've been reading Tennyson and various other poets thinking about the recent death of my old friend Kris Bristow and the death two years ago of Craig Duvelius. Kris died from a sudden illness and Craig from an accidental overdose. I was reading Howl earlier and was struck by the first few lines of one of my favorite poems of all time.

Excerpt from Howl by Allen Ginsberg:

For Carl Solomon

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness,
starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking
for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly
connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking
in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating
across the tops of cities contemplating jazz,
who bared their brains to Heaven under the El and saw
Mohammedan angels staggering on tenement roofs illuminated,
who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes
hallucinating Arkansas and Blake-light tragedy among the
scholars of war,
who were expelled from the academies for crazy & publishing
obscene odes on the windows of the skull,
......
incomparable blind streets of shuddering cloud and lightning in
the mind leaping toward poles of Canada & Paterson, illuminating
all the motionless world of Time between,
Peyote solidities of halls, backyard green tree cemetery dawns,
wine drunkenness over the rooftops, storefront boroughs of
teahead
joyride neon blinking traffic light, sun and moon and
tree vibrations in the roaring winter dusks of Brooklyn, ashcan
rantings and kind king light of mind,
......
who talked continuously seventy hours from park to pad to bar
to Bellevue to museum to the Brooklyn Bridge,
a lost battalion of platonic conversationalists jumping
down the stoops off fire escapes off windowsills of Empire
State out of the moon,
yacketayakking screaming vomiting whispering facts and memories
and anecdotes and eyeball kicks and shocks of hospitals and jails
and wars,
whole intellects disgorged in total recall for seven days and
nights with brilliant eyes, meat for the Synagogue cast on the
pavement,
who vanished into nowhere Zen New Jersey leaving a trail of
ambiguous picture postcards of Atlantic City Hall,

_______________________________________________________________________________

As you know, the poem itself is very long. Certain lines just strike me today.
Like these:

who drove crosscountry seventytwo hours to find out if I had a
vision or you had a vision or he had a vision to find out Eternity,
who journeyed to Denver, who died in Denver, who came back to
Denver & waited in vain, who watched over Denver & brooded &
loned
in Denver and finally went away to find out the Time, &
now Denver is lonesome for her heroes,
who fell on their knees in hopeless cathedrals praying for each
other's salvation and light and breasts, until the soul
illuminated its hair for a second,

________________________________________________________________________________
Obviously, the Denver lines are about Neal Cassady. He's one of my favorites also.


Friday, September 04, 2009

This Week's Adventure

I substitute taught two and a half days this week, which is so far my record this year. Sometimes there aren't any jobs. Sometimes I have lots of stuff to do and can't get to any schools. There are ALWAYS tons of jobs on the days when I have a million things to do. Why is that?

Monday was an awesome sub day. I had Sophomores in an English class at a school that is only about 20 minutes from here. The kids were pretty good and the teacher had two inclusion classes so I had help some of the day. The only thing that I didn't like was that it was one of those days where the teacher had left me a movie to start each class on. That means that all five classes watched the first 50 or so minutes of the same movie all day long. I rented the movie tonight so I can see something beyond the first half.

On Tuesday, I subbed at the school I used to teach at. I always expect that to be a negative experience, but it hasn't been so far. People I wasn't even friends with when I taught there are nice to me. It's kind of weird. Anyway, this was a Sophomore English class, too and she also had two inclusion classes. The difference was that she only had three English classes and the other two were Yearbook. The Yearbook classes are pretty much self-sufficient so that was fun.

On Wednesday, I subbed at the middle school directly behind our house. I had to be there at 7:05 a.m. because the teacher had bus duty. It was a five minute commute maybe. I loved that! I subbed for a Chorus/Music class. I only had two classes really and, while they were harder to deal with than the high school students, it was still a good day. These were 8th grade classes mostly and they just did not want to get quiet. The half class that I had were 7th graders and they were great kids. I usually like 7th grade better than 8th so it didn't surprise me any.

That was my week minus the dental experience. I hope next week is just as good!

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

The Dangers of Google Dentistry

I went to the dentist a couple of weeks ago and, while he was poking around in my mouth, he found a cavity in the side of a tooth that wasn't even showing up on x-ray. It was under a filling. "Lovely," I thought.

I got home and I started thinking about how if it didn't show on the x-ray, then there was no way to know how big it was without just going ahead and filling it, right? I didn't really think anymore about it at that point.

Fast-forward to last Friday when my tooth began to hurt off and on. I asked my dad, who has had four root canals, what it feels like if you need one. He said that it would hurt a lot. It was kind of a dull ache and it seemed to only hurt at the end of my day. I took some Tylenol and thought that would take care of it. I had an appointment to get it filled on September 8 after all.

Well, it hurt all weekend. It hurt all Monday while I subbed for a Sophomore English class. It hurt Tuesday when I subbed for another Sophomore English class. I called the dentist's office Tuesday afternoon and asked if they could squeeze me in, soon. Then, I went home and googled "root canal" and "root canal symptoms." What I saw scared me because I had some of the symptoms.

I went into the dentist's today well informed and scared to death. He gave me two shots of novocaine and started drilling. He drilled off and on for over twenty minutes. I thought that drilling the old filling off would take a while and I was right. After those twenty-plus minutes of starting and stopping, he pronounced it a run-of-the-mill cavity and not even that big of a filling.

I should maybe not google these things. I scared myself a lot. At least, I didn't look at the pictures though!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Craziness

These last few weeks have been just full of crazy stuff going on.

On the job front, I need to go test for the Department of Human Services position sometime soon. It's a full -time position and the test is fairly simple. It's even on computer! It's just a matter of finding the time to drive to Nashville and do it. In the meantime, I am back to substitute teaching, which I thought would be enough to keep me busy. It's not. I am lucky to get two days a week, but school did just start. I am still at Domino's thirty hours a week. It makes getting up for school awesome. Really.

My fifth anniversary is coming up on Saturday. Some kind person in my husband's band booked a show for that night so I'm going to that. Quincy is spending the night with my parents, but I won't really get to spend any more time with my hubby because of the show. I guarantee he'll be home around 4 a.m. and I have to open at Domino's Sunday morning.

Other than that. an old friend of mine died Saturday, August 15th. It was completely unexpected. I used to see him all the time on my Facebook chat list and Yahoo chat list and it's sad not to. I was never able to spend much time with him because all of his get-togethers took place while I was working. I'm always working. The funeral was perfect for him. It was the first funeral I have been to for someone I wasn't related to.

That's about all that's going on right now. Just busy, busy, busy!

Monday, August 10, 2009

The Rest of the Garden!

Okay, I posted pics of what came out of my garden for today. Here's some pics of the garden and what's still in it.


These are the cucumber plants and some of cucumbers still in the garden.



Here's the bigger view of the cucumbers. They have really spread out.



These are the zucchini plants. They have gotten pretty tall and are starting to crowd the tomatoes.


Here's one of the zucchinis growing. There are a few more beginning to grow, but none of them are big yet.



These are the tomatoes and some of the pepper plants. You can see them, but there are about ten tomatoes of various size growing. They are still all green at this point.


This is one of my green pepper plants and the mini green pepper that is growing. There are a few others on the second plant.



Pardon my hand in this picture. This is the tabasco pepper plant. It has an amazing amount of peppers on it. I don't know what we're going to do with all of them.



This is the really big cayenne pepper plant. It was the first one planted and is much bigger than the other two.



These are small banana peppers that are growing on the biggest plant. I have no idea why it's bigger than the other eight plants. They all have some tiny banana peppers on them. I don't know what we'll do with all these either. Pickle them?



Last picture! One of the nine jalapeno plants and some of the peppers. There are about 15 more growing.

Today's Harvest

Here's everything picked from the garden today:


Cayenne peppers. jalapeno peppers, and tabasco peppers



Also, one cucumber. There's about four more that will be ready to pick tomorrow.

Two good-sized zucchinis, too.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

That Month went Fast!



On July 24, Quincy and I left for Edisto Island, SC. That's it in the picture above.

The week before we left was a flurry of preparation--shopping, packing, running around like crazy getting stuff done. We got all packed and left on time though. I got poked and smacked and, sometimes, punched on the way down there.

It was vacation, but I spent lots of time on the phone with my husband checking to make sure my garden got watered and the dog got walked. I was worried!

I have lots of pictures to bore y'all with. Quincy at the beach. Quincy in the pool. Fort Sumter. An alligator at the Charleston Aquarium. Yay! Stuff to look forward to.

In the meantime, I rode in the middle of the backseat of my parents' truck all the way back. The drive took 12 hours and my right shoulder/neck may never be the same. As soon as I don't hurt anymore, there'll be a long Edisto post. Also, a garden post.

Oh, and I am now on the job list for interviews for one job with the State of Tennessee and going to test to get on the eligible list for another soon. So all is well on the job front!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I've been wronged!

We let Quincy play out in the backyard often. Today, he wanted out to work on his garden. He planted grass in it yesterday and thought it needed something done to it.

Anyway, he decided that they grass needed trimmed so he borrowed my scissors that were out there and went to work.

Meanwhile, in the house, I was eating my lunch while my husband washed the dishes in the kitchen and watched Quincy out the window. He looked away for a moment, only a moment. I heard him say, "Oh, no!" That got my attention.

He opened the back door really quick and yelled at Quincy, "Why did you do that?" In the meantime, I ran to the door to see what disaster had happened.

I have had one cherry tomato plant in my garden this summer. This past week, it got eight little green tomatoes on it. I've been pretty excited about having eight tomatoes at once.

Quincy cut it down with the scissors. His reason? "I don't think I like tomato plants"

There'll be pictures tomorrow.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

What does this say about me?

I realized the other day that it's a good thing I'm married because I have questionable taste in men. I mean, I find myself attracted to guys who would be good fling material, but not relationship material.

I got lucky with my husband. I mean, sure, he annoys me sometimes and we have the same fight over and over, but he has redeeming qualities. He is amazingly responsible with money and with things like life insurance. He cleans the house because I am often completely exhausted when I am home. He does the dishes because, well, I don't.

Would another guy do that? Maybe.

Would guys I think are attractive (ie. good for a roll in the hay)? Probably not.

I wonder sometimes if I am good relationship material. I mean, I'm almost always in a good mood. I usually have a smile for anyone. I like to push to get the necessary tasks done so I have free time to sit on my ass. This would be why I make lists. That way, things get done. The whole sitting on my ass a lot thing does not make me a great catch though. It does mean that I probably know what is happening on my favorite TV show at any given time. Oh, and I read a lot of books. A lot. Really.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

The Gardening Bug Bit Quincy!

Or maybe he just really, really likes mud! When he was almost a year old, if he got mud on his hands he would stare at it and then cry until we washed him off. Now, he loves to make mud. He loves to play in it.

He says that he's gardening. What do you think? It looks like playing to me!


Notice the mud puddle below him in this one and the pic below this. He made that with the hose.




He also got a little wet while messing with the hose.


He's checking out his feet here.


This is after playing in the mud the next day. Doesn't he look proud?


And his feet again! He took a much-needed shower after this!

Monday, June 22, 2009

I am an angry 4 year old boy!

That's an apt description of my child.

He's mad because we won't buy him this toy or that toy. He's mad because I won't stop at McDonald's at 9 o'clock at night. He's mad because Wubbzy isn't on all the time, or we made him leave the playground or sit down and eat lunch or told him to stop spitting. Whatever we have done, he's angry.

He spent the last week in Florida with my parents. They frequently heard, "I'm mad," and ,"I'm angry." He had to be carried out of a toy store because they took him in just to look. Last night, my mom would not let him have a steak knife at the restaurant they were at and he pitched a fit. He told me that he understood that the knife could hurt him but that "Grandma was supposed to share her knifes."

When he gets mad, he spits. Unless he's angry because we're trying to leave the playground, then he runs away. Once caught, he yells, screams, and kicks his feet. It's awesome.

My sister thinks he needs to go to some sort of anger management/behavioral class. My friends with 4 year olds tell me that this is mostly in the realm of normal behavior. Is it? Any suggestions?

Friday, June 19, 2009

Life at the moment

My husband and I are nearing the 5th anniversary. I'm happy. I guess. Is a happy marriage one that you're content in? I'm content and comfortable. And annoyed.

I get tired of being home alone all the time with no one to talk to but my 4 year old. I am tired of never spending any time with my husband. Scratch that, we spend time together, but we're both asleep.

Is marriage, at this point, supposed to feel kind of like having a roommate? One who kisses you in passing every once in a while?

Maybe I read too many romance novels and have seen "Twilight" too many times. I want my relationship to be similar to Edward and Bella's. To be someone's "own personal brand of heroin." Is that even possible after this many years together?

Quincy has been in Florida all week and we really only got to spend one day together. Well, we spent Sunday together, but I had fever and was pukey and nauseous. I'm not counting that. Our one day together, we had two arguments. I thought one of them would never end. Quincy gets back tomorrow and I am looking forward to that.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

I'm so glad I'm on the other side of this now..

Last week was by far the most stressful week that I have had in a while. Hubby has been talking about moving for months now and waiting for our lease to end. It finally ended and he gave them notice that we were moving. I was not really asked for my opinion on it. We spent four frantic days looking at house after house. Each one we looked at was worse than the last or more expensive or further out of town. Truthfully, my husband found something wrong with every house we looked at. Some were in bad neighborhoods. Some were under high-tension power lines. Some were near cell phone towers. We found two that we really liked. The ads said nothing about pets so we asked. Neither one allowed pets. They had left that out of both ads. Bleh.

By last Wednesday, I had experienced a panic attack followed by tears pretty much every night. I was certain that we were going to end up living in my parents' back yard because we had no place else to go. I knew that we couldn't stay here because he'd already given notice. I NEEDED to know where we were moving RIGHT THAT VERY SECOND every night. I had to pack. I had to call the water department, the electric department, the phone company, Books from Birth, Insurance, the cable company, and the student loan people. These things take time. Time we did not have. So by Thursday, I was determined we would find something that very day. We didn't. Not even close. It was time to pay rent for our last month. We drove to our rental office where I told our son that he'd better enjoy his sucker from there because he'd never get another. I waited in the car with him because I just knew I'd cry if I went in. My husband was in there forever. He came back out with our lease renewal paper. He had talked to the manager and renewed our lease for another year! Yay!

It took me several days to feel like myself again. I resumed by search for a day job this weekend, but I didn't update my resume until today so I probably passed up a few that were available. Here's hoping someone calls me for an interview because I have to pay those student loan people somehow.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Deceptive Photography

Today, we took a trip to the park. Quincy had fun on the slide!



He even had fun posing for pictures!



He thought it was great to peer out at me from the holes.



And, again, the slides were awesome!



What was not fun was leaving. When I said that it was time to leave, Quincy ran the other way. There's lots of unreachable places at the playground. I could see the benefits of a leash for a 4 year old. I finally cornered him, picked him up, and carried him to the car screaming. Other toddlers were leaving and not screaming. Not mine though. Mine screamed all 20 minutes of the ride home. We're not going back to the park anytime soon.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

*sigh* I wish

A side effect of the over-analyzing/over-thinking thing is that it eats up large amounts of my time. I tend to do it when I'm alone, which is much of the time (pretty much always at night until 4 a.m. or so). Since I have no one to talk to, there's nobody to keep me from thinking myself into a funk.

I HATE thoughts going round and round in my head. It makes it really hard to lie down and go to sleep. I should have done more today, then I would have something to be tired from and be sleeping now instead of rambling incoherently.

I wish I had a husband who was home at this hour, who got up with the sun and spent mornings with me. One who did not sleep half the day and stay up half the night. That schedule is great for single people, but not so much for a marriage. I knew he was a late night owl when I married him, but I hoped it would shift a little. Yes, I know, people don't often change in any important way. It's unrealistic to expect that someone will. Still, I wish.

While I am at it, I wish he wrote me poetry or songs. I wish he made me laugh more often. There's something great about a person who can make people laugh. I wish he remembered birthdays and bought cards. Also, Mother's Day. *sigh* I wish he were around to make me smile more.

Yes, I'm being unrealistic. I know he'll never change. Still, I wish.

Friday, May 22, 2009

What I Learned

I almost have a Ph.D. in English. I am really only lacking my dissertation. I love books. Put me in a room surrounded by books and I am in heaven. Put me in a room with old books and I am in awe. Maybe I should have picked up a Library Science degree, huh?

One thing I learned in grad school was to pick literature apart. Not just books, also poetry. I can explicate a poem (which is really just a close reading) to the point of writing a good ten page paper on it. I actually wrote a thirty page paper once on three poems by the Cavalier poets. I don't remember which poems or which poets at this point.

My point is that I know how to analyze. That's pretty much what I learned. I analyze things to death sometimes. I also overthink situations. I've been known to still be trying to figure out what someone meant by something they said hours later. I guess there's good and bad things about being over-analytical. I spend a lot of time in my own head, usually going in circles, but not always. That's not necessarily good. I am also good at stepping back from situations and getting some perspective on them. I guess that's good.

I spent much of my childhood with my nose buried in a book learning from other people's experiences. Sometimes that's the best way to learn.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Shouldn't I have outgrown this?

(I am posting this from the laptop. I hate the laptop, but the main computer won't boot so here I am.)

I hate blushing. It's involuntary and the more I try to stop, the hotter my face gets. It's embarrassing. Okay, it usually happens when I have said or am thinking something embarrassing. Case in point: I mentioned the post a few posts back about police officers and how cute they are to, surprise, a police officer this afternoon. I did not describe anything in it. I merely said that I wrote about cops a few weeks ago. My face immediately turned what I am sure was a brilliant shade of crimson. That's what it felt like anyway. It got so hot that I had to fan my face. Shouldn't I have outgrown this about 15 years ago?

I'm pretty sure that Quincy will have the same problem when he gets a little older. He is very fair-skinned. He turns red if he gets the slightest bit hot. If it's really hot out or he has been running a lot, he gets even redder. I have yet to see him blush though. I mean, why would he be embarrassed? We stopped for Chinese food on the way home and he told the lady at the counter that he had to take a big pee. He announces his poots almost every time he does one. I guess he's not old enough for embarrassment. Lucky him!

Friday, May 15, 2009

My son has no future in crime

It seems that the ability to lie is genetic and my son got my inability. I was always a crappy liar. Now, I rarely even bother. I can do the white lie, but the big ones elude me. I always give myself away. I used to envy those people who could lie smoothly, but, enough about me.

I meant to post this yesterday, but it was Quincy's graduation from his 3 year old preschool class and then I had to work so there was no time. It's been a crazy week. I have pictures from the graduation that I plan to post this weekend.

Getting back to the subject at hand, I was happily watching "Criminal Minds" the other night when Quincy came walking into the room with two Sharpies without lids. He had been quiet in the living room, but I assumed he was watching something on Noggin. I was obviously wrong. I looked an him and said, "What did you do?"

He ducked his head and said, "Wellllllllllll...."

Again, "What did you do?"

He said, "I colored on the big TV screen."

This got me up. I went into the living room and he really had colored the big TV screen. There were big loopy scribbles on it. I said, "You'd better hope this comes off," and got the bottle of rubbing alcohol and some paper towels. As I started cleaning, I reminded him that his Daddy would probably punish him if he found out about this.

It came off! I said, "Quincy, you are lucky that came off. Don't tell your Daddy what you did."

Five minutes later, my husband came walking in. He forgot his cell phone and came home to get it. By this time, Quincy was sitting quietly on the couch. As soon as my husband walked into the living room, Quincy looked up and said, "Daddy, I colored on the big TV screen with Sharpie, but Mommy got it off, so it's okay!"

It took him 30 seconds to give himself away. My husband and I looked at each other and laughed. I said, "Well, he'll never be a criminal!" Really, a police officer would ask, "Who did this?" and I can just see Quincy raising his hand and saying, "It was me! I did it!"

Saturday, May 09, 2009

All You Need is Love

That's the song I was listening to on the way home. The conversation went something like this:

Quincy: "I want to be a firefighter when I grow up!"

Me: "I thought you wanted to be a policeman?"

Quincy: "NO! I WANT TO BE A FIREFIGHTER NOT A POLICEMAN!"

Me: "You could be a Marine first. Grandpa was a Marine."

Quincy: "NO! i DON'T WANT TO BE A MOE-RINE! I WANT TO BE A FIREFIGHTER ONLY! YOU LET ME BE A FIREFIGHTER!"

Me: (quietly) "I didn't say you couldn't be one." (singing along to song)

Quincy: "YOU STOP TALKING! JUST BE QUIET!"

Someone was testy tonight!

Monday, May 04, 2009

Job Fair, heh...

I went to the countywide Teacher Job Fair on April 18. Guess how many phone calls for interviews I have gotten from that? Go on, guess. Zero. Even from the one school that told me I'd get an interview!

I maintain my opinion that every administrator in this county knows every other administrator AND that they have a super-secret lunch where they take all resumes received and discuss each one. As in, "Do you know this candidate?" "Would you hire him/her?" etc., etc. The super-secret get-together is probably not true, but I bet there are phone calls to everyone on the resume before an interview is offered, which means, in my case, that no interview is offered.

I am not discouraged. Okay, a little bit. I still want a library certification because a job working in a room filled with books sounds like heaven to me and shouldn't a job be like that? Heaven, I mean.

How to finance the going back to school and the paying of the student loans? I'm considering that now. I'm not sure I could do those seven classes, plus the required internship, plus the stress and planning associated with teaching secondary full-time. All the classes are online. That means no hurrying to campus or anything. I figure I can apply for a graduate assistantship when I apply for the program. They're awfully stingy with the graduate assistantships these days though. I doubt I could count on it.

Alternatively, the state is hiring for DHS. It's basically data entry and interviewing people. There's a test required to get the job with basic grammar questions and common sense situations. I'm fairly certain I could pass that. What do you think?

Monday, April 27, 2009

Quincy--0; Sidewalk--1

Usually Mondays are uneventful. I have a day off and I go grocery shopping. That's about it. I know. Exciting.

Today, we set out to get Quincy's hair cut. It was long and looked bushy. I conveniently forgot that most barbers are closed on Monday. Two shops later, we found one open. It was at The Avenue, an outdoor mall here in town. I hung out with Quincy during the hair cut and Keegan browsed Best Buy. Afterwards, Quincy and I headed for Best Buy, too. Keegan met us on the sidewalk and the adventure began.

Quincy decided to run away from us and back towards the haircut shop. He was wearing Crocs. It was a bad idea. He got about six or eight feet away and then boom--faceplant. He slid on his forehead and nose, with most of the impact being absorbed by his head and nose. He ended up with a goose-egg on his head and a scrape below that. His nose bled like crazy. It took six wet paper towels to get it manageable. When we headed to the car, I had another three paper towels in my hand and his nose continued to bleed for ten minutes. He also scraped up his left knee. He looked like he'd been in a fight and lost.

Here are some pictures once we got home. He had stopped being upset by this time.


Well, mostly stopped being upset anyway. He looks kind of sad in this one.


A close-up of the forehead!


That's not blood that I didn't scrub off on his nose. That's an actual scrape where he slid. Ouch!


Looking pretty relaxed here after some candy.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

The times, they have changed

When I was younger, I liked men who stood out in a crowd, who broke the rules, who maybe wrote poetry or sung songs. They usually had long hair, maybe a tattoo, probably a piercing. Most of them skateboarded or spent way too much time playing hacky-sack. They all had one thing in common--they were rebels in some way or another. Perhaps just in the way they thought.

Now that I'm older, I still think the bad boys are kind of cute, but not nearly so much as I used to.

The men I normally gush about being cute are almost always police officers. Show me a nice, crisp uniform and a gun belt any day and I am happy. Seriously, I got to deliver to the house the police have made their headquarters in the Tornado Zone last weekend and it took me three days to shut up about it. Never mind that I completely misspelled the name of the cop I delivered to (so much so that I made up a new last name). I was thrilled by the $5 tip. I mean, who doesn't like tips? But it was the nice, cute cop that had me smiling when I talked about it later. Even my husband was teasing me about this all week. He was amused.

If someone had told me ten years ago that I would eventually find the good guys as fascinating as the bad, I would never have believed them. Amazing how things change.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The tornado that crossed the road

This is a photo of the tornado that crossed the road and prevented my visit to the doctor on Friday, April 10.



What we saw did not look that big. That part of it was up in the clouds, swirling.

We left our house in Rockvale a little after noon that day. We planned on dropping Quincy at my parent's and heading to the doctor. That^^^^ threw a wrench in our plans.

As we travelled up Memorial Blvd., which is one of the main roads in Murfreesboro, we noticed that it was raining kind of hard and traffic was bad. It did not seem like a big deal so we kept on going. We passed over Northfield and began to approach the road to my parent's house, when I began to notice cars turning around in driveways and making u-turn's and stuff. I commented that the sky actually looked green over the subdivision that is behind my parent's. Weird.

About that time, all the cars in front of us stopped. WE did, too. In front of us, not more than three car lengths ahead, a very small tornado crossed the road. We saw it drop garbage, but it did not seem to do any damage. My husband later remarked that it did not stop at the red light. Ha!

Traffic got going again and we turned onto Irongate, which is where my parents live. We noticed that the power was out. When we got to the house, my mom said that she had heard a loud noise after the power went out but did not know what it was. She had also forgotten to replace the batteries in the weather radio. My father was out driving around with my sister. It turns out that he was just a few blocks from where that picture at the top of the page was taken. My other sister was home and saw this picture below on her tv before she hid.



Once the storm had passed, my sister tried to call my mom, but all the phones lines were jammed. It took us a while to get my dad on the cell phone. He was on the way home and fine. He turned right on Broad Street. If he had turned left, he would have been driving into the path of the tornado.

Meanwhile, we're sitting at the house and don't know what has happened. After my dad and sister got home, we decided to drive up and see if anything had power on the main road. It did not. So my husband and I drove back along a different route. We went up Haynes Drive toward my parent's house. We had heard a lot of sirens and wondered why. We saw police blocking the road. We had to turn left. Right before we turned, I pointed out the power lines that were on the ground on Haynes. The poles were snapped in half and touching the ground. The police had Sulphur Springs blocked off also. My parents live at the corner of the two roads.

It took driving back to our house, where there was power, to realize what had really happened.

To put it into perspective, this is near the corner of Haynes Drive and Sulphur Springs Road, literally 1/2 mile from my parent's house.



(all photos courtesy of dnj.com, TDOT, and a flickr photostream )

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Went to the doctor...finally

I tried to go to the doctor last Friday, but we were stopped by a massive tornado crossing the road and knocking out all the power nearby.

There was no time to try and go back. I've been subbing all week and trying to mentally get ready for the big teacher job fair Saturday morning. This year, I will take a resume that has been proofread and attempt to not say anything stupid to anyone important.

Also, I will try not to cough on anyone because I really do sound like I might cough up a lung. It's just an upper respiratory infection and a slight wheeze, but it sounds awful. It's amazing that my throat doesn't hurt.

In the meantime, I have this song stuck in my head thanks to Richard at work:

Thursday, April 09, 2009

I wish I could shake this off!

I have a really great post outlined and planned on writing it tonight, but then I returned home from school with a temperature of nearly 101. So scratch that. My nose in congested, my ear hurts, and I have some icky drainage. I'm pretty sure it's an upper respiratory infection, which means I need a visit to the doctor and a Z-pack. Until then, I'll be on the couch!

Friday, April 03, 2009

Thomas's Friends are not MY friends

And I'll tell you why with the help of some fuzzy pictures of his buddy Terrance the Tractor.



See how nice he looks? He has such a happy face and looks like he would never hurt anyone. Don't be fooled!! He's thinking about how he's going to position himself in the middle of the floor so some unsuspecting adult will step on him and "hahahahahahahahaha." That's what's behind the smile!



See all the knobby spots he has sticking out of him? Those hurt if he gets stepped on. Actually, those will cut a foot even through a sock. I spent two days hobbling around and limping because of that Terrance!
(And yes he is sitting on the bathroom counter now. I can't possibly step on him there.)



That's my foot two days after the incident. I waited until it was no longer bloody to take a picture. :) Also, I should probably watch where I'm walking. It wasn't even late at night and I had my glasses on still.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Where does this sense of humor come from?

Is it an inborn male thing?

Let me explain. My son has always been fascinated with any noises that his body makes. Burps are very funny to him. farts are even funnier. A fart from somewhere near him will result in a comment like, "Was that your pout? Did you pout? Hahahahahahaha" If he happens to be the one with the gas, he is even more amused. He'll ask, "Did you hear that pout? That was me!! That was my pout!! Do you smell my pout?" Sometimes, he just tells me to smell his pout. It's pretty disgusting.

My husband has explained the finer points of pout etiquette to him. If he pouts near a woman, he must say, "Excuse me!" If he passes gas around my husband or one of his friends, it's okay, he can laugh. They probably will.

The last few weeks, he had a problem with his poop. I thought we would never get rid of the diarrhea. I modified his diet. I added an acidopolus supplement. I upped his fiber. It still took ten days or so to go back to normal. This was pretty agonizing since it was the ten days before he supposed to leave for a week at Disney World. I really hoped he wouldn't be sick all the way down there or at the park.

Well, he wasn't. It cleared up about the time I gave up on diet modification. I did cut out dairy for a few days. He was very proud of his first normal poop. We made a big deal out of it. Maybe we shouldn't have. After that, every time he pooped solid, he announced it to everyone around. My mom said that they were at Disney World and he'd be in the stall and she would hear, "Ohhhhhh, it normal! Yay!" I don't know what the other ladies in the bathrooms thought.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Will you be my friend?

My family varies in the ease with which they make friends. Both my sister's are somewhat shy, but I think that one makes more friends easier than the other. I have somewhat close female friends, but even closer male ones. My son has apparently never met a stranger. My mom called the other night and said that he has been talking to everyone at Disney World.

Now, I make friends easily. Actually, my co-workers tease me that every person that comes true our drive thru is my friend. That's not really true. There are a select few that I would consider friends. The rest I probably know as regular customers. There are even some who order the same thing so often that I have it memorized.

Getting back to my son, he really is a friendly little guy. He recently started talking to people in the grocery store. It's really funny because some people in Walmart won't talk to back to him. They just tell him "hi" and move on. Others stop and have entire conversations with him. This is what has been happening at Disney World I guess. Mom said that he had a ten minute conversation with one of the grounds workers outside their cabin. She complimented him on how clearly he talks.

I wonder if this ease with making friends will continue when he starts elementary school? I hope so. I hope he has lots of friends in school. Of course, having taught, I also hope he is not that kid that constantly has to be reminded to be quiet when the teacher or other students are talking!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The better back piece picture

This is the one I didn't take myself!

Much better, right?

Monday, March 23, 2009

Is it too late to be a student again?

Last year, I taught English. I'm good at teaching the writing side of things, at least I am when there are less than 35 students in the room. Put me in an overcrowded room and I feel like one voice in many trying to be heard above the cacophony. I hate that feeling. I love teaching writing though. I love showing a student how to express their thoughts and proving to them that the more you write, the better you get at it. I had my students do a journal entry nearly every day last year.

Having said all that, I have spent the last year working at my classroom management skills, but last year pretty much killed my confidence in that area. I have been looking into various programs that the university here has and talking with teachers when I sub. The school district here is offering a buy-out program for teachers who are near retirement age this year and I imagine they will do something similar next year if the economy continues to be like it is. So I am thinking of adding another endorsement to make myself more marketable.

Many of the librarians in this county are near 60. Even if they do not take the buy-out and go into early retirement, they will still be retiring in the next few years. The university has a program in library science that requires seven classes and a practicum. I think it will take maybe a year, so, if I can qualify for the graduate assistantship, I think I may do that. It would add another endorsement and another degree to my resume.

I do kind of look like a librarian I guess. Actually, a student the other day told me, "You do look like an English teacher!!" Maybe I should dye away the gray hair?

Thursday, March 12, 2009

I was attacked!!

Really! By a small, rubber lizard! I was gathering laundry when it hit me. Here's the character wielding the lizard:

He was swinging it around when he let go and it thwacked me. It kind of hurt.

That's his menacing look above. You can't tell, but he's growling at me.

See how flexible the thing is? It flew through the air really well.

Here's the lizard in it's natural environment:

It's actually Quincy's room, or, his house, as he calls it. Notice all the toys? Oh, and the neatly folded laundry on the bed? Yeah, my husband is responsible for the laundry. I hardly ever fold it.:)

Speaking of my husband, this is what he was doing while I was being attacked:

Some protection he is!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Inspiration comes in lots of forms.

For me, the problem with writing is always about inspiration. Sometimes, I can sit down and tap something out in 5 minutes. It might not be good or even make much sense, but it's there. Other times, I sit here and I read other blogs and can come up with nothing worth writing about for mine. Some weeks, there is just nothing going on in my life and then there are weeks where so much is happening that I have no time to sit down.

While subbing a few weeks ago, I got to teach about one of my favorite writers--Samuel Taylor Coleridge. I especially love "Kubla Khan," particularly these lines:

And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain momently was forced :
Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst
Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,
Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher's flail :
And 'mid these dancing rocks at once and ever
It flung up momently the sacred river.
Five miles meandering with a mazy motion
Through wood and dale the sacred river ran,
Then reached the caverns measureless to man,
And sank in tumult to a lifeless ocean :

___________________________________________________
Those lines occur about midway through the poem and Coleridge is speaking of inspiration. He says that it springs forth with no warning and flows for a time before disappearing completely into "a lifeless ocean." I can relate. Many times, I think of something good to wrote about while doing something else, but it is gone by the time I sit down.

Coleridge also writes about the difficulty faced in trying to recapture the exact words that you have composed in your head. He writes:

Could I revive within me
Her symphony and song,
To such a deep delight 'twould win me,
That with music loud and long,
I would build that dome in air,
That sunny dome ! those caves of ice !
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry,

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He is speaking here of the song the lady with the dulcimer sings in his vision. He says that he wishes he could remember the song (or the lines of poetry composed in his head) because, if he could, he could build the palace of Kubla Khan in the air and everyone would be able to see it. Not only, would they be able to visualize the palace, but also the warrior and they would be able to hear the lady's song.

A great poet can convey emotion through writing and cause you to visualize what they are speaking of. I think that Coleridge succeeds in this. There are other poems of his that I love also, but this is definitely one of my favorites. I think he captures the fleeting nature of inspiration. Well, either that, or he shows the reader what good opium he was taking. Truthfully, I think he felt that his laudanum use was detrimental to his writing because as soon as he had composed a piece, he would forget it.

You can read the entire poem here.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Maybe I should get my eyes checked??

The desirable sub jobs around here have been few and far between. I'm pretty sure that I could sub every day if I worked for two counties. Actually, I could sub every single day here if I were willing to go to every school. I have a little problem wanting to drive 45 minutes one way to sub all day for only $65. It is unfortunate that many of the jobs are at the schools that are that far from my house. Thing is, we live pretty far out of town but right next to the interstate. If we lived in town, those schools would be even farther away because I would have to still drive to the interstate.

You can now understand my excitement yesterday when I saw a sub job pop up that was about 25 minutes from my house and at a great school. I immediately signed up for it, got ready, and headed out. I hurried so I would be on time and I was. When I arrived at the room, the teacher looked at me funny. She swore the job she had put in was for Monday, March 9, not Wednesday, March 4. She checked and it was. I completely looked at the date wrong when I signed up. I was 5 days early! It was kind of embarrassing. I am still going back on Monday though because it's a great school and it's close. I'm actually looking forward to it!

Monday, March 02, 2009

Snow in Tennessee!!!

For once, we got snow and Nashville and the area north of Nashville did not. It always happens the other way around. Here's some pictures of the snow that ushered in March around here:


Look at that! 7 inches of snow! Here's the trees in my backyard all snow-covered:




I had to scrape all the snow off my car to drive into town Sunday morning. It took a good 30 minutes or so and, even then, I did not get it all. I left the 7 or 8 inches of snow on my roof, thinking it would just blow off. Halfway into town, it melted enough to slide down on top of the trunk and the back window. I could not see out my rearview mirror after that.

Friday, February 27, 2009

My impromptu diet

I don't know that I have ever mentioned it, but I weigh between 105 and 110 pounds on any given day. At 5'2", this does not make me physically impressive or intimidating. It does often make me feel like Susan the Happy Trotting Elf, from Coupling. When I was younger, I really did kind of resemble her, except I was never blonde.

All of that is buildup to say that I try constantly to maintain my weight. Sometimes, I spend time attempting to gain weight. It hardly ever works (don't hate me!). This week, I had a canker sore right inside the corner of my mouth. If I were trying to lose weight, this would have been a good way to go about it. I mean, I eat tacos at least once a week with hot sauce on them. I did that this week also, but it hurt. Other things that hurt to eat: pizza, chocolate, ketchup, mustard, salsa, anything with salt. That covers a lot of my diet. I had to cut many usual foods out.

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I was forced into dieting this week. I couldn't even drink out a straw last Saturday. It hurt to put my lips like that. Kissing hurt, also. I don't think I lost any weight though so don't go around hoping to get a canker sore. You'll just been in pain for a while. Oh, and I couldn't smile right for about a week, so I am sure that customers at work either thought I was creepy or in a bad mood.

I can't find Susan the Happy Trotting Elf on YouTube so here's Steve's first date with her.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Facebook Phenomenon (Phenomena?)

Just like everyone else I know, I use Facebook as a way to reconnect with people I have not seen in umpteen years. To a lesser degree, MySpace is good for this, too, but more of my old friends are on Facebook. Understandably, some of the people that I find were mere acquaintances in the first place and so, after the initial, "How are you?" email, we don't talk much anymore.

It's the others that are few and far between that perplex me. If you were close to someone many years ago, lost touch, and reconnect, should you expect that intimacy to still be there? Is that unrealistic? I don't think so. I think if it is someone who knew you very well before, then they probably still know you pretty well now. Sure, you'll both have changed due to life experiences, but people remain basically the same.

I'm wondering if there's a false sense of intimacy there though. I mean, just because I feel still close to a person, doesn't necessarily mean they feel the same about me, right? Just because I care about them, still, they may not feel the same way.

I have a lot of friends that are superficial, "Hi, How are you?" friends who do not really care what the answer to that question is. I have enough of those. I can pretty much count on one hand the number of people who have opinions that I value. When I reconnect with one of these people, am I maybe expecting too much?

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Because I have no life....

Here is my 25 random things post from Facebook...

1. When I was five, I wanted to be a garbageman when I grew up.

2. My hair has been red, burgundy, black, dark brown, light brown, and partially green (yes the green was intentional).

3. I love to cook and am actually pretty decent at it.

4. I never cook a meal for only me unless it is a frozen one.

5. I make amazing cheesecakes.

6. I've never really had a close female friend.

7. There are a lot of places I'd like to live besides TN. A lot. I'd better start moving around if I really want to live in them all.

8. Nothing makes me happier than a good Grateful Dead song.

9. I know every word to "Ice Ice Baby." Don't laugh. :)

10. I love the color green. It was the color of my room at my parents. Still is actually.

11. I love to watch my child sleep. He looks so precious (and quiet).

12. I am an Internet celebrity gossip junkie, but I hate TV shows about it (TMZ, Entertainment Tonight, Insider).

13. Large crowds make me extremely uncomfortable. I feel like I can't breathe when there are lots of people around.

14. I prefer quiet, softly-lit restaurants because loud ones make me nervous.

15. I don't like most coffee, but I love mocha lattes. Some mornings I need one to wake up.

16. I eat a banana for breakfast almost every morning.

17. My husband and I were married in a clearing in a grove of trees in a state park beside 2 waterfalls.

18. I wore pink to my wedding. I almost never wear pink.

19. I have 9 tattoos. Almost all of them are black.

20. I hate driving on the interstate and riding in a car on it sometimes makes me carsick. It's a motion thing.

21. I've had piercings, but I let them all grow back together.

22. I've always wanted to be a writer. I'm still working on that one.

23. I love chocolate, but only in small amounts.

24. I don't drink often, but if I do, I like mango coladas, sex on the beaches, and beer favored with fruit (Honey Raspberry Ale, Cranberry Lambique).

25. I have two degrees in English, but my favorite books are trashy romance novels--usually the ones set in 17th century England.