This time last year, I was a new teacher. All of my classes were set and I basically had every kid that I would have for the rest of the year. I miss those kids, but, also, I don't.
I've been reading Sleep is for the Weak. It was my anniversary gift. If you haven't read this book, it's hilarious. But this is not a book review. There is one vintage Amalah post in there that made me laugh until tears rolled down my face. I remember reading it online when she wrote it and laughing then, too. First time I read it, I was struggling as a new mom, just trying to get out of the house once a day with the baby. Sometimes, we never made it anywhere. Re-reading the post printed in book form, there's a line that so completely reminds me of last year that I might embroider it so I can keep it on my desk.
"DO NOT LOOK TEENAGERS DIRECTLY IN THE EYES. IT CHALLENGES THEM."
That could have been my mantra while I was teaching, especially during certain periods of the day. No teacher should have classes that they dread, but I did. I had classes that I prayed would get cancelled because of this or that. Just one less day with that class.
I hate that I am still looking for a job, but it's more about the insurance and lack of money than any desire to stay with my kids another year. There are a few that truly made my day every day and I will go to graduation in May just to see them and I will probably cry. But, mostly, I would have hated being there another year. I want to be happy to go work. I don't expect every day to be all sunshine and roses, but I'd like it to be something I look forward to at least a little.