Sometimes I stop writing at the end of posts because I think it's a good stopping point. Whatever feels right, you know? I did that the other night at the end of my song post with that Goo Goo Dolls song that expresses the really unrealistic picture of love. That's love at 16 in that song I think. Infatuation really. Didn't mean to give the impression that I expected marriage to be that way. This is my second marriage. I know better.
I know that marriages are built on trust, for instance. Mutual beliefs and adoration help, too. I adore my husband. Even when he's annoying or he farts on me (that's not cute by the way), he's adorable. He cracks me up when I am mad. He has amazingly similar views on lots of things and even his dissimilar views are interesting. All night last night, after a question about whether it was cheating to talk to a friend of the opposite sex, he called me at work and asked who I had cheated on him with. I actually talked to the most annoying guy that I work with last night off and on all night. My husband kept saying, "Him?? Again??" It was very funny and I giggled all night. I'm sure my co-workers thought I was nuts. I'm also certain that it wasn't the first time some of them thought that. Here's a picture of him since I talk about him all the time:
Now, I'm going to get all philosophical. I explain this in a way that doesn't give me a headache. The key word there is me. This is from years of reading philosophy. I've really distilled my own views down pretty simply.
We are pretty much the same belief-wise with a few differences that are not important. I believe in the Calvinist principle of predestination, which states God "freely and unchangeably ordained whatsoever comes to pass." God has complete control over everything. Essentially, everything happens for a reason. Every good thing and every bad. People come into your life at the exact moment and in the exact manner that they are meant to. And this is all planned out for you. I don't necessarily believe in free will. I think that choice is an illusion and that, even before we think we've made a decision, that decision was already made. This is where my husband and I differ and maybe it's because he's coming at it from a scientific background. He says that it's not that our decisions have already been made for us, but studies show we make our decisions even before being offered the choices. These are scientific studies done in some lab somewhere. Don't ask me. Google it. He also said something about we take every choice offered because of quantum...and that's where it went over my head. I just think it supports my assertion that we don't have free will.
This quote pretty much sums up what I believe: "Spinoza....was unwavering in his application of determinism to the psychological domain. The behavior and mental life of human beings are completely determined and cannot, therefore, be different from what they are. We often think we are free or choose freely in a sense implying the absence of causal determination; but this belief is a consequence of our ignorance of the causes that determined our action or choice. Because the term “free will” was often used to explain behavior that was believed to be immune to explanation by underlying causes, Spinoza rejected this view of the concept. Moreover, it is absurd to praise and blame people since they are and do what they must be and do. We should rather seek to understand the causes of their actions and states of mind." History of Ideas Even though, as stated, we are ignorant "of the causes that determined our action or choice." Therefore, life is predestined or predetermined. Still, this person explaining Spinoza puts it all better than I can.
I use predestination and determinism interchangeably and I probably shouldn't do that. They are two differing concepts in philosophy, sort of. This is probably why I didn't major in philosophy. It is fun to discuss though. These are the thoughts that keep me up at night. Scary, huh?? Maybe I'll try to explain Kierkegaard next.